“Boom Boom Pow”!!!!!

Okay, this is a very silly one but then, I’m a writer; I’m permitted to write down whatever catches my fancy…YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE THIS :p

Sooooo, down to business.

Alexia woke up early hours of yesterday all tired and lethargic….She was gon resume late at school today..but at the moment, what she needed was an extra hour of undisturbed sleep.
After general family prayers, her mom practically commanded her to go “twerk up a meal”…..LOL!

A…….L…….E……..X…….I…….A!!!!!!!!! Her mom had called for her

Hesitantly, she went to the kitchen and started the process. Her mom joined her after a few, insisting she wanted white rice and fish stew with a side of plantain…yummy abi? Ikr!
Pulling out a camping gas, her mom put the rice to boil. Lost between fear and haste, Alexia decided not to use the 6 burner gas cooker….it had been giving off strange hissing sounds of late.
Disconnecting the connection between the gas tank and the cooker, she proceeded to pull out another camping gas.
She heated the oil and threw the fish in it(loool that’s the way most girls fry fish).
Mom had told her to hasten things up and stew the fish instead of frying it…..but you know, some girls α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ just hopelessly disobedient. Alexis told her mom to go wash up and prepare for work…which her mom willingly obliged.

Then, the unimaginable happened!

A jolting breeze passed through the kitchen like a car race was on..it slammed the kitchen door and the windows reverberated from the impact.

Pffft…..whooooosh…….booom! Fire connected with gas in the air!

And then boom! The cooker was aflame
Boom! The floors were lighted up
Pow! Everywhere was engulfed in pretty blue and orange flames.

All these had happened in nanoseconds. Fear gripped Alexia, She was standing in a valley of an inferno that rose up to her thighs…..she rushed to the tap to get water to quench the outburst and then realized the fire was licking her up quite hungrily

ESCAPE! She thought. Rushing to the door, it was jammed shut….that’s when Alexia became scared. She struggled with the door for a few before mom heard her screams and rushed to help. Alexia came out, scatched of course but she felt no pain then…she rushed to bring a bucket of water and poured it over the flames…….

And then the pain came…..
In bouts
In sessions
It was acute



The Knight of Dawn part2

* * *

Gathering his wings, he heralded the dawn. Darkness had been on for too long; it was about 4am already….spreading out his snow white powerful wings, he ascended one of the rocks…and gave light a chance…as the darkness was forced to recede, it cast a glow in the direction of the light.
It was a very beautiful sight to behold and even his horse approved; from his muted neighings.

Back in the cave in one of the rocks, he gathered his sword and armour, mounted his horse and flew with the winds…..

* * *
Sweating profusely, the Witch doctor was puzzled. Trying again, he gathered the white stones and scaterred them…nothing…again.

Shemayah was at a loss on what was happening; his beautiful wife had been reduced to a piece of rag by the menace. She was in untold suffering as deduced by her soft moans and restlessness….and it pained him terribly that he was handicapped in doing anything to relieve her.
Sheila had been cursed by the River Keish. She was bloating every hour. He wondered how long it would take to reach her climax and explode in fragments.

The mere thought of this sent chills down his spine. Nobody was safe anymore….the gods were the ones against them.
What puzzled Shemayah was the fact that his wife had not gone to the river….She had only drank from the pot used in storing water….and the water had been there before the epidermic struck.

Did it mean that the entirety of the Keish river was poisoned; stored up or not? He shivered uncontrollably. They had been in the Witch Doctor’s house for 4days and the oracle had refused to say anything….it appeared Sheila was doomed.
Bowing his now weighty head, he stole glances at the man, shivering and chanting, murmuring and rambling; gathering and scattering…..still nothing.

Finally he spoke up

“The gods are silent on this one…take her home to die”.

Upon hearing this, Shemayah’s courage failed him. He dropped the bravado his breed was known for and did the unthinkable….

He wept in front of the effigy of the goddess Keish. As his tears dropped on her, the witch doctor stood back; afraid there was going to be an instant judgement on this sacrilege….but that wasnt to be as nothing happened.

Deciding to heed the advice, he gathered his wife in his arms and walked out. Surprisingly, as bloated as she was, she was light as a feather.

Dejected, he moved on. And then he met a strange looking fellow. He was really tall, about 7.5ft and looked as if he was floating. Shemayah’s 6ft and 3inches height was dwarfed by this creature.

Dressed in an all white apparel, an un-sheathed sword dangling dangerously by his side, he looked daunting. Shemayah hoped he hadnt seen a god.

He was probably an emissary sent from other kingdoms to spy he thought….was there going to be a war? Would the rocks protect them this time? Walking briskly, he wanted to avoid the stranger.

“Sheila will not die he said”

Shock almost made him drop his wife in fear. Looking the stranger over, he asked him how he knew that….and then the stranger was silent. After a few seconds, he touched Sheila’s forehead with his index finger and told him to go home.

Transfixed, it took Shemayah a while to recover and continue his journey. Looking back, all traces of the stranger had vanished.

“I must have imagined that dream” he thought

But he did not imagine it. As soon as he dropped his wife on her sick bed, the amazing happened….she began to shrink repeatedly and after about a minute, she was back to normal; radiant, healthy and beautiful.
* * *

The gods are very angry with you the priests had told Shemayah.

Shemayah was perplexed…he hadnt done anything to wrong the gods. He had been roasting some renmant groundnuts when a palace guard had told him he was being summoned by the Council of Priests…he knew that meant trouble and he had gone without delay.

“You have had contact with the strange knight and you did not attempt to hunt him down.”
“Are you not a seasoned hunter?”
“Are you not aware of the fact that the stranger is responsible for what is happening?”

These and many more were the myriad of questions each priest threw at him.
At the end of it all, the oracle was consulted and the words were the same

“A strange knight…..and a strange sacrifice”

* * *
Consulting among themselves, the most senior priest was chosen to offer the sacrifice.

It had to be a woman cursed by the Keish
It had to be a woman that had had contact with the stranger
It had to be Sheila

*to be continued*


The Knight of Dawn

Been an awful while i posted anyting on here…startn to get a tad rusty am afraid. Not to bother, ah gat a new one ere n its in 5 parts. Your comments r welcome…hope u enjoy it.
********i present to you*********

” Send the young men of the land to comb the entirety of Keish. Am sure he is hiding somewhere along the borders. If he cooperates, bring him alive, if otherwise, bring his head. ”

* * *

Far away from the embrace of Civilisation huddled the small village of Keish. Although minute in size compared to surrounding villages, it was the bane of livelihood of the town. Named after a beautiful godess of the Nimke kingdom, it was indeed a very beautiful sight to behold.
The inhabitants never lacked anything as the Keish river had never run dry; resulting in an almost eerie fertility of the land. Also, the godess Nimke was believed to guard the villagers in times of war. Legends had it that many enemies of the kingdom had been maimed in battle when the 3 rocks surrounding Keish had fallen upon them. The thrill of it all was that after these rocks. had accomplished their missions, they went back to their original positions……strange; but true.
The villagers were a very prosperous breed and were highly devoted to the worship of Keish. They paid homage to her twice a day and offered sacrifices at any slight opportunity.

Then, darkness fell. Continue reading

A weird tale…..

Staring into the cruel cylinder of the gun, Roxanna mentally calculated how long her captor would keep her alive. Twenty minutes? A day? A week? Roxanna decided on twenty minutes. Then she spun into action. If she wanted any Mc Callister calling her Roxie some more; she was going to have to get out of here…alive.
Counting to ten, she tried to keep calm. Where were all the bright ideas she was blessed with? Fried she thought. Looking him over,she put his age at 23……huge torso, black hair and an unbending stance. Frantically searching for the Achille’s heel in this man, she caught herself admiring his looks. What….or rather; who had turned him into such a ruthless hitman?
After about ten minutes…which to Roxanna felt like a lifetime, she discovered that his weakpoint Was so obvious. It had been staring her in the face since he brought her here; and she was too oblivous to notice.
All along, without uttering a word, he had consumed some brown liquid in 6 unmarked bottles. There were about 18 bottles left on the counter. If her guess was right and it was alchohol, he was probably getting himself drunk enough to pull the trigger in her face.
Hmmm, so Mr Macho wasnt all that fearless afterall. There were containers of what Roxanna thought should be cannabis. Without wasting more time, she set to work; speaking up for the first time. She was gonna mess with his mind and get him too drunk to move a muscle…yea, it was a good plan.
“Before you finish me off like you’ve been paid to, wont you at least tell me your name?
Starry-eyed, he looked her over and answered gruffly-“Wayne” Continue reading

You lied!

**Heres to everyone who has ever damaged anyone, this is what you really did**

Your seeming innocence
Your watery eyes
Your slippery tongue
Your extreme calm
Your creamy words

Your deft lips
Those muscles
That silken chest
Those midnight promises
Those ‘I love yous’

Alas! They were all lies
You stole my pride
You trampled on my dignity
You stabbed me in the back
When i least expected it
You gave me a bulletproof vest
And then gave me a headshot Continue reading

Sorry, I’m busy

“Michelle, sorry if i sound a lil needy or overbearing but can you please come over? I’ll really appreciate it.”
It was Roxanne’s tired voice over the phone. Michelle was designing a really complicated gown for Roxanne and she felt she couldnt leave it even for a moment. “Sorry, but am very busy right now. Lets make it tomorrow. I’ll stop by after school.”
After school the next day, she told her mom to drop her off on Eight street to see Roxanne. All she saw was confusion all about, with yellow Police tapes pulled all over the entrance to her house.
Running to a Cop, she asked to know what happened. The female Cop had told her that they werent sure of what really transpired yet, but there were pointers that Roxanne had taken her life. Continue reading

_the friendzone_

Its been a lil while i posted something on here. Housekeeping got me all tied up and all. Well, now am here, i guess thats all that matters, huh?
So today, i wanna shed some light on the frienzone*not that we dont know all we need to know about the topic, buh pls allow me feel myself*:D
So i’ve been thinking on what to write since Sunday and the inspiration came; after reading a blog post and hearing a particularly sad case of the friendzone.
Dont lemme bore you any longer.
I present to u *drum rolls thrice*


”It was good while it lasted, ave a good life”

Tears trickled down her small face as she read the last sentence in the text. Yomi had just broken up on her, after 3months. Her 15th relationship so far.
Temi couldnt figure out what always made the guys leave. She was caring, responsible, and gave sex when it was needed. Talking body figure, she was a perfect 8; any guy’s perfect score of 10. Crying loudly, she decided to let pent up emotions flow.
Just then, her cellphone rang. On the 3rd ring, she picked it up. It was Kenny, her ”best friend”. Kenny sensed her dull voice and asked what the matter was. Unable to control her emotion, she burst into a wail.
There was no use pretending, Kenny knew how often boys dumped her. In fact, he had helped her through 6 of those breakups.
She and Kenny had been friends for as long as she could remember. He had asked her out once, but in her usual playful manner, she had waved it off as a joke.
They were so close her circle of friends even taunted her with his name. Others were of the notion they were dating…they were that close.
Pausing in her thoughts, it hit her that Kenny was more goodlooking than any of the guys she’d dated. He was mature, fun to be with and loaded with a lot of cash.
In fact, most girls threw themselves at him, but he wasnt one to fool around. He’d been dumped a few times too.
The problem was, Kenny was a friend to her, more like a brother. She didnt feel any attraction towards him…..

Kenny on the other end was lost in his thoughts. He loved Temi. He was very sure of that. It killed him everytime she got dumped. It depressed him even further when she found a new person….a potential mistake everytime. He had told her about his feelings once. But she never took him serious. He had thought being her friend would ease up things…but they only worsened the situation…..

* * * *

Sad, innit? Yet, we all have been through this at one time or the other. We like this person very much, yes. But the person doesnt reciprocate and to make things worse, they turn us into their brothers, sisters or best friends like the scengfario above.
To understand this phenomenon from different sides, i asked people what their opinions of the friendzone were. Thay had this to say:

@P.jay:its when u like a gurl and she only sees u as a nice friend. In the end, u end up helping her to choose a boyfriend.

@Mykel:its a situation when a girl only sees u as a non-sexual object maybe like a lamp.

@James Olokede.smeone who sees u as a non-sexual being.

@AK-Lee:a guy ure best friends with, u tell him all your secrets but u cannot kiss him.

@P.josh:its when u get fucking close to a girl and she starts to see u as a friend-slave.

Well well, there we are. Different views on the matter.

I’ll like to examine the topic from both sides tho(i.e the guys side and the girls side).
Most people are of the view that only guys can be friendzoned. Well, thats as true as saying Ozil was signed by Chelsea. Yea yea, u get the point am tryna make i hope.
Guys, as well as girls can be friendzoned.
Lets view this from the guys angle. Theres this girl; light-skinned, a wow-looker. Talk about anything a guy wants in a girl-shes got it. Plus, shes been showing signs she likes you. And then it happens! U dnt like her, in fact to u shes just a friend, nothing more. U even see her as you would see your sister. GBAM! You’ve friendzoned her.

Talking about the girls, i ave to admit we do it more often than the guys do. At this point, i feel compelled to paint a scenario.

****a few months ago, Tola met this guy. He was still the sweetest guy she’d ever met….lol. That time, she was being treated like crap by her ex. He was always there, offering a shoulder to cry on, taking her on dates wen she couldnt cook, coming to her rescue whenever her ex fucked up on hangouts etc. Before long, people started suspecting they were going out; including her ex. It gained her some level of hate tho-he was quite a great looker and a ladies-man.
It got so bad that she turned him to a machine where she dumped all her complains about her ex. When her bff asked her about him, she was like ”hes just a friend”. When they finally broke up, he was also there. Lol, Tola feltstupid when she remembered how hard shecried dat day, she soaked his shoulders! Lol
Even after the breakup, her eyes still dint open to see the boyfriend material in him. After a while, she started to really like him. Guess what happened…..one day, while he came visiting, he made a statement that made her almost cry. He said Ure like a sister to me! Hehe, serves her right abi? I know.

Well, all said and done, its been laid bare.
So, if ure a pro at friendzoning people, stop it o, stop it today! U never know if ure friendzoning ur future half o. Uhn uhn, i yaf said my own o, if u like hear, if u like ignore.

**curtains close**